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| You know you've been single too long...
by David Coleman
"I feel so sorry for my single friend. I wish there was something that I could do to help her meet the right person." Sound familiar? The friends and family of single adults always seem to have an abundance of free advice and amusing one-liners to share. They can'tbear to think of their friend or loved one being alone, especially with the holidays approaching. This is important, because if there isone thing that single adults need to be reminded of on a daily basis, it is the status of their social lives.
I asked dozens of singles to share signs that regularly remind them that they've been single for awhile. Their responses were quitehumorous. Some of the respondents were simply comical people, while others used laughter to mask despair they were experiencing. Below, you will find several of the most creative and popular answers I received.
You know that you've been single too long when your talking parrot suggests that you get out more or the bouncer at your favoritelocal hangout becomes such a close, personal friend that he refuses to accept your admittance fee. If you can recall, slot for slot, thecoming week's television line-up from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. nightly or a band dedicates a song to you that you didn't even request, lookup the word single in the dictionary and you'll find your picture there.
When several match making services send you lifetime membership cards and honor you as their most valued customer or yourrelatives have stopped inquiring if you are dating anyone (or when you are getting married), take notice.
When you actually begin to believe your own rationalizations or you make plans for next weekend without even considering thepossibility that you might have a date, you're single-minded, no question. If you avidly participate in talk radio programs in order tohave someone caring to talk to, or you catch yourself eating dinner over your kitchen sink, it's time for a lifestyle modification. Ifyou've stopped shaving or caring about your personal appearance, acute singleness has set in.
If you used to hope for a "knight on a white horse" and now you'd accept a horseback ride on a pony, or you've lowered thestandards for your next date to someone who is: breathing, has a job, a car, his/her own teeth (white preferably) and no prisonrecord, you've begun to compromise.
When the wait staff at a restaurant can order for you or you have pre-printed your income tax forms with the "single" block checked,you've acclimated. If you have begun to view being single as a fact of life, not a transitory stage, you need to be inspired. Onegentleman succinctly expressed his thoughts by sharing "when my mother's friends began to appear more and more attractive, I knewit was time to reassess the status of my life!"
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