|Q: For two years now I have been infatuated with my roommate's fiancee'. I havejoked with them about wanting to steal him away, but they have written it off as playful fun. Fourweeks ago, they broke things off and have not talked since. I am eager to approach him. Am Iplaying with fire? Can it work?|
Dating Doctor:Are you playing with fire? Are you serious? I would suggest taking in themovies "Dante's Peak" and "Volcano" to get a better perspective of what may be in store for you.
First, take a deep breath and get a hold on your hormones. You must observe their relationship forseveral more weeks before taking an embarrassing leap of faith. A couple that has endured severalyears together, and had made a commitment to get married, has weathered stormy situations before.This could simply be another. Although, this does sound fairly serious.
People who separate after extended relationships usually take one of two courses of action.Individuals who are apprehensive about being alone, often seek an immediate rebound-relationship.Conversely, those who need a break, relish their newly-found freedom.
Before you approach him, ponder these thoughts. No matter what she expresses to you, your roommatewill experience intense jealousy over the situation --more than she ever expected. Her ex-fiance'may decline your offer due to the nature of the situation. His past history with your roommate maymake it impossible for him to create a history with you. Plus, the longer you remain roommates,the longer they will remain in direct contact with one another. Would you like to observe your exon a daily basis as he begins a new relationship with your best friend? This reads like a torturescene from a documentary on warfare.
If you really care for this guy, you must be true to yourself and follow your heart. If youdon't, you'll always ask yourself "what if?" But as you approach him, exercise a great deal ofcaution and common sense, treat your roommate with respect and bring along a fire hose. You'redefinitely going to need it.