|Q:I feel like girls string me along whenever I'm in a relationship. Usually, my relationships start out as friendships and then turn deeper. Girls usually accept my interest and affection at first, but once I put effort into the relationship, they ignore me or don't seem interested. When I act like I'm not interested, they come back pleading for another chance. Is it wrong for me to be bitter about this? Or should I take some blame and give them a second chance?|
Dr. Drew: There's no doubt that you bear part of the blame because you've established very manipulative qualities in these relationships from the start. It sounds like you worm your way into these "friendships" so that when girls feel connected to you, you manipulate them into a romantic relationship, which is what you had in mind in the first place. Then, if they lose interest in you, you threaten them with the loss of a friendship you've established. They're basically being forced to like you or lose you. You're obviously very afraid of rejection, and maybe you set your sights on women you can't get unless you manipulate the relationship.
Here's the solution: if you're interested in more than a friendship with a woman, make that clear at the beginning of the relationship. Be honest. Women like men who are up-front about their feelings in a genuine, emotional way. It's okay to establish a friendly rapport, but ask her out right away so she knows exactly what your intentions are. You might have to settle for being friends if she's not interested in anything more, but that's better than getting into this relationship mind game.
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