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Guide to Vehicular Sex      
  dating guides · sex in cars

   It seems like it's a rite of passage-- doing it in a car... Well, whether or not you've taken partin this act, you know that a car isn't the most comfortable place to get down. Now while we don'tcondone any of this, we've come up with a guide to sex in cars-- which ones are the best and which ones to just stay out of...

Any compact
Advantages: Smaller size encourages greater intimacy and vehicle is easier to push if you run out of gas.
Disadvantages: Minimal legroom: difficult to drive with jeans around ankles.

Advantages: Convenient display indicates when you're out of gas.
Disadvantages: Wierd electrical system: writhing during orgasm may activate flashers.

Chrysler Imperial
Advantages: Anti-lock brakes prevent skidding during extra special orgasm. Spacious seats invite lust.
Disadvantages: Inconvient shift lever almost guarantees headache in awkward positions (any position in which partner's head makes contact with the gas pedal).

Ford Taurus
Advantages: Spacious trunk permits "kinky" sex, especially if lover deosn't have a spare tire.
Disadvantages: Limited warranty: doesn't cover rust and/or wet spots.

Advantages: Sumptuous leather seats lend added dimension of sensuality. Erotic design of car considered form of foreplay. Hood ornament a sex symbol.
Disadvantages: Between seat shift console may cause over-ardent male to experience his first hernia. Also difficult to find parts.

Advantages: Four-wheel drive provides offroad capabilities and greater privacy. Possible to make love in the middle of a stream.
Disadvantages: Unless lover on top wears a copper derby, tight suspension may cause head injuries when going over rough roads.

Advantages: Titlt steering wheel enables both partners to fit. 100-way adjustable seat permits nearly unlimited positions.
Disadvantages: Too much safety: moan-activated airbag may open and cause coitus interruptus.

Oldsmobile Cutlass
Advantages: Excellent cruise control permits nonstop lovemaking, even while going thru toll booths. Strategic placement of windshield washer control makes it easy to rinse each other off after fervent passion.
Disadvantages: Automatic safety belts may offend those not into bondage.

Advantages: Excellent handling: safe to enjoy foreplay and intercourse while negotiating a hairpin S-curve.
Disadvantages: Hair-trigger horn may sound when lovers engage in classic "front seat" position: his feet on floor, her feet on steering wheel.

Some of this information is from 2002 Days & Nights of Sex by Richard Smith.

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